Be less judgmental, your froggy-leg bastard

I think that my position in life, despite also being as diplomatic, is to be quite critical of things. I critique the French all of the time for their stupidity and ineffeciency--they call it a way of life. However, I would never be so critical of an infrastructure in a developing country, because it would be in turn a judgement of situation, and not just simply a way of life. More on this later? If I feel like it.

So perhaps I can discuss some otherwise previously unavailable or undiscovered things going on in the City of Light.

The Musée Orangerie: This museum, in the southwestern corner of the Tulleries gardens has been newly reopened. Its minor highlights are the impressionist collection it houses from various artists. However it's crowing glory and reason-to-be is indeed the two ovular rooms which contain massive, let me stress, massive water lily works by Monet.

These things are enormous...each of them is at least 20 feet long and six feet high. The rooms are all white, clean and sparse, probably so not to distract from the work They are all views of Monet's famous bridge, pond, and various trees that are in Giverny, from which all of his water lily paintings are inspired, in different lights and times of day. The paintings range from clear and downright beautiful to haunting, and confused and unclear, to me. In looking at them, I personally sat there and wondered just how much of art has been analyzed and understood. These paintings, in their intense size, violent brushstrokes, and impressionist vision, have no doubt been scrutinized, analyzed, every inch meaning something to some art scholar.

I can't possibly hope to understand the immensity of what they ponder over for hours. I'm sure some people hated them when they were finally finished. I'm pretty sure Money hated them, although they are in a sense his magnum opus. I really enjoyed that, art museums are such a great idea because you go there to stare blankly at a wall, searching for meaning, which is something people do anyway without paintings. Only in a museum, it makes you 'cultured!' (there is no such thing as cynicism or artsy-fartsy ponderings in parenthesis)


Parc des Buttes Chaumont/Parc de Belleville:

These places are tucked away in arrondissements with pathetically high numbers that no self respecting Parisian snob would ever go to, however they are fantastic, and the latter gives probably the best view of Paris that is possible. The former is a huge man-made structure, commissioned probably by Napoleon III, or Louis Napoleon, or one of those people who you can look up if you truly care. It has a massive rock-mountany thing in the middle of it with a stone gazebo that lots of people have griffitied their name into and some date "Rolf from Germany was here 12/5/04 and you don't know whether or not he means December 5th or May 12th because Europe (pronounced yer-up) is funny like that. The park also features a waterfall in a rock grotto, also man made, and dubbed according to Some French Person "Le meilleur lieu pour s'embrasser à Paris" (the best place to kiss in Paris). Well whoopty doo for you Frenchmeister.

So this post is supposed to be before the latest one, 'cause that's when I started it...since then, as I look back at this list of things I'm supposed to describe, it was started suchhh a long time ago. Then of course, the days fly by here, I'm not really sure what I've been up to. Ahem, I was saying...

Chartres- A small town outside of Paris with a capital-sized Cathedral, which jumps out at you when approaching on the train. The stained glass windows are supposed to be to DIE for, and I managed to focus on the only one with Old Testamate imagery (is any of this spelled correctly) which, if not posted in picture format at this reading, is indeed soon to come. The Cathedral at Chartres is beautiful and enormously tall, supposedly the widest "term for the part that is where all the pews are in front of the ever confusing altar-table thing in the center of a Cathedral" in all of France. Those altar table things, by the way, never ever cease to make me think of animal sacrifices, because it's always this big ass table, usually nice and glossy, of thick wood, or shiny stone like marble. And if they HAVE such a nice table that's perfect for chopping up vegetables and coordinating paganistic rituals with scenty crap and animal brains, why waste it? Or get a buffet going people, cmon, there's room for everyone!

I have, it seems, been to other museums and stuff within Paris, as well as other little trips, and also a lot of the inside of bars, a cadre of business which is probably more efficient than anything else in all of France. After all, if you can't get a drink in hand when you're done working super hard at not working, what's the point of life really??

Some really chewy, tasty bread, clearly. Mmm.

There are so many bakeries sprinked over this city that anyone can be snobby about them too. I just discovered a new good one near my place, and why that raises my spirits so much I couldn't possibly tell you.

Luckily the Dummy's guide even includes a little section all about friggen boulangeries and which ones are good. Well, they publish a 200 page guidebook on each one in all of Paris!!! Ahhh who cares, says one side of me, it's bread. If it's not stale and completely devoid of anything bread-like, than it's edible. So shuttup and chew.

Hmhmmm not so. We also need FANCY BREAD called brioche, which looks and tastes suspiciouslly like challah. I don't recall ever seeing anyone buy any, but there must be a demand because it's always there. Along with many other delectable treats.

Maybe within the next few days I will find a way to justify why I like living in France besides like, the food, the coffee, and the laid back Euro lifestyle...basically, if I can't consume (food, clothes buying, etc) do I really like France? That, I have no idea.

Demandez à un français pourquoi il aime son pays. Il vous dira --Ben, c'est la France, c'est mon pays, il faut que je l'aime. Qui serais-je sans la France? Mais rien...etc etc etc. They don't know either, except that everywhere else, in theory, people don't speak French so they've GOTTA love it. I can't tell you how many French people, after learning of my American-ness, will sit up and be like "Their French is TERRIBLE (americans), not you of course (blah random double edged compliment, merci beaucoup madame) I can't understand a WORD of it, they don't try...they don't want to learn other languages blahblahblah" meanwhile most French people command English like Helen Keller driving a bus. Only, as a very warm-hearted person, I'm pretty sure that Helen Keller would have been upset over the amount of damage she would have done with a bus in a crowded street.

Can you taste the cynicism? It's because I don't know how to behave otherwise.

Oh yawnn...that was a real post!!! A BIENTOT

Al Hadj Elex Iou....akistopoulous (this joke was Greek...cha! laugh, eet ees fonni...)